Also, a big thank you to the awesome co-hosts for today: Heather Gardner, T. Drecker from Kidbits, Eva E. Solar at Lilicasplace, and Patsy Collins.
As many of you know, I'm in the process of querying my young adult novel, so you'd think my insecurities would stem from the query or publishing process. However, as of right now, I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at in this query process.
So, what are my insecurities for this month?
I recently decided to delve into a novel I wrote a while back. It's one that has been sitting and sitting because as soon as I finished it, I realized that I could probably never publish it. At least not under my real name.
This work is raw, emotional, and it's real. It exposes the good, the bad, and the ugly side of love and relationships. My husband (who is ALWAYS my very first beta reader) says it's my best work thus far. And as I've been reading through it and revising the heck out of it, I think I'd have to agree with him.
But the problem is, I can't publish it.
I'd be too embarrassed. Too afraid of what others might think.
So, I have two options: I can revise it until it will make others happy. Or I can leave it as is and let all the ugly parts of me show.
What would you do?
If you revise it to make others happy, will that make you happy? Will those revisions be true to the story you want to tell, to the story that wants to be told?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe you're uncomfortable because it's not the right time to release this particular story out into the world? Or maybe it is, but using a pseudonym?
I think you really just have to listen to your heart, to your gut and go from there. Good luck!
Thank you, Madeline! You asked some great questions that got me thinking. I don't know if I'd be happy revising it. It's a great story. A believable story. But I probably wouldn't feel comfortable putting my name on it. Maybe a pseudonym is the way to go.
DeleteI know how you feel. I've written some darker stuff that I know will make some people uncomfortable, which then makes me uncomfortable. But it's true to the story. Those choices are hard. I'd suggest letting someone you trust, but is unbiased, read it, if you have someone like that. You will probably garner respect with the raw, emotional state, because it pulls the reader in more. Anyways, best of luck with whichever decision you make.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's the hard part—finding someone I trust who is unbiased and won't think less of me.
DeleteMadeline is right - would that make you happy?
ReplyDeleteYou could always publish under a pen name.
I have thought about a pen name, but it makes me sad to think I won't be able to "claim it" as my work. Does that make sense?
DeleteNo, no, no! Do not write to make others happy. Although some folks will never say it out loud, they want real. Yes, reading can be an escape for people, which is great. But they also want to know that the world they live in - with their problems, issues, and dysfunctions - aren't foreign or that no one else experiences them. Write for you and readers will come. (Here if you need to work some of it out. Just email me (salarsen71 (at) gmail (dot) com). Psst....I received you message on my website. I'm soooooooooo horrible with checking those messages. We'll chat.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sheri, you're the best! Glad you got my message. :) I'll email you so we can discuss it further.
DeleteIf you think it's your best work DO NOT revise out the ugly parts. We need the ugly parts in books because life can be quite ugly. Keep all of that ugliness in and don't be embarrassed by it. Writers who dare to write that stuff are often celebrated by readers for being real.
ReplyDeleteGood advice to remember! Thanks, Chrys! :)
DeleteLet the ugly show! I just wrote a post about this. Really. The ugly is you, and although it ain't pretty, it's part of who you are. And that's always good to show in your writing.
ReplyDeleteYes! I remember reading your post. You're probably the one that got me thinking about the truth and ugliness of this novel! So, thank you! :)
DeletePublish whichever way makes YOU happiest. Ultimately that will be what's best for you. Are you afraid that readers will think that this is how you are?
ReplyDeleteNo, not really. It's...complicated.
DeleteIf revising it would make you unhappy, then don't. Besides, life isn't always pretty.
ReplyDeleteVery true! Thanks, Diane. :)
DeleteUntil you really expose yourself, you're not really growing as a writer. Why can't you publish it under your name? Sometimes you should really take the leap and throw it out there. Those in your life who might be upset... perhaps you don't tell them about it?
ReplyDeleteThat might be an option...
DeleteNever try to make other people happy because you will have too long a wait. Let it all hang out, don't let fear take something away that you are proud of. Fear is usually found to be , well,...unfounded:) Embrace all and let it shine forth and others will be inspired by your courage
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said, Birgit. Thank you.
DeleteI vote for keeping it real and truth, the ugly is what most will probably relate to. Revising it for others is okay, but it has to be the story YOU want to tell. If it's not something you feel comfortable publishing for people in your life to read, then I say a pen name is a good idea. Good luck deciding! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, SK! I think I am leaning toward a pen name.
DeleteDon't change a thing about the story!
ReplyDeleteIf it's too revealing, maybe covering up real names with fake ones and possibly using pen name for yourself would be the way to go. Could there be legal issues if you make a real life person look really bad? Could someone sue you for defamation if the book soars and becomes a best seller? I don't know. You might ruin a person's reputation. These are the first things that popped into my head when I read your post. It may not even be an issue, but something worth looking into.
Well, it's not revealing in that way. It is definitely a work of fiction, but something bolder than I've attempted before. Not sure how it will be received by those close to me.
DeleteLet it be! If that's what makes it great, then you need to leave it the way it is. Like has all ready been mentioned- pen name! =) And I am also intrigued. Kristin, sweet Kristin, wrote something on the dark side...? Oooh!! ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Well, I wouldn't say it's on the dark side, just the vulnerable side. If that makes sense...
Deletemy first thought was: I'm going to smack you. then I thought that's too mean to type. but as you can see, I did anyways. publish it! it's genius for a reason!!! we don't want your pretty, we want your stellar!!! don't make us happy, make you happy. we will buy your happiness :D
ReplyDeleteLOL. Too funny. I LOVE your honesty, Tammy! Amazingly enough, your words gave me a boost of confidence—I can do this. I'm gonna do it. WooHoo! Maybe I did need a good smack! :)
Delete