Hello everyone! It's time for another group posting of the IWSG. Hosted by the amazing Alex Cavanaugh, the IWSG is where we post our insecurities, doubts, triumphs, and offer encouragement and support to others. To join this group, go HERE. And as always, a big thank you to the co-hosts for this month!
Today is my little man's 4th birthday and while that doesn't really have anything to do with writing, it has everything to do with thoughts that have been going through my mind lately. I had one of those breakdown moments recently where I was ready to throw in the towel because I felt like I was lacking in so many areas as a mother. I felt like most of it was due to the time I've spent the past two and a half years writing and querying (which is over half the life of my little guy). And for a moment, I honestly thought to myself that I can't do both. Not anymore.
Obviously, it was in a moment of weakness, a moment of despair that I thought these thoughts, because I know that I've come so far, and I certainly can't quit now. But I guess I'm hoping for that silver lining. I guess I'm praying that this will be it, this will be my chance. I'm hoping this wonderful agent I sent the R&R to will love the changes I made and offer me representation (and thus begin my dream of working with one of the sweetest agents ever).
But I have to ask myself, what if she doesn't? Then what?
And the truth is, I don't know.
I still have agents with my old manuscript that I now need to contact and ask if they would like the revised copy. And, obviously, I need to do that sooner rather than later. But I'm tired. I'm tired of querying (not necessarily this book because I haven't sent that many queries yet, but I'm tired of querying in general.)
I suppose if I find myself still unagented after these revisions, then I guess I'll have to keep querying. I owe it to myself, and I owe it to the story. And I do know that my story is stronger, better than it was due to the suggestions of this fabulous agent who was willing to give me another chance to resubmit. I will always be grateful for that.
But for now, I'll keep hoping and praying.