As a mother of five extremely loud and incredibly busy boys, I've often wondered how I can keep my own identity and my own femininity in this world of frogs, swords, matchbox cars, and video games. For years I spent my days picking up after my children, changing poopy diapers, cleaning up slop off the floor, and doing the mundane tasks of laundry, vacuuming, and mopping.
But as my children are slowly but surely getting older and a little more self-sufficient, I feel a desire deep within to seek after my life-long dream. To become a writer. And with the world of boys only steps away, I am drawn to writing something that will fulfill my needs as a woman.
Who doesn't enjoy a compelling love story? I've always been interested in other people's love stories--how they met, how he proposed, etc. I love the onset of a sweet, tender romance or the battle for an unattainable love. I love that when I write I'm taken to faraway places and new experiences. I get to think and feel as the characters do.
I was recently writing a scene where the main character has a lot of anger and hostility towards her husband. My husband said to me one day, "Why are you always so angry lately?" Then it hit me. I was so invested in this character and the anger and hurt she felt that I was unknowingly taking it out on my own husband! That was an eye-opening experience!
But it is so true.
As a writer, I live and breathe the story I'm working on. I become the character and try to think as he/she would think. When I was writing a novel about a cowboy casanova, I listened for months to country music and had an insane desire to buy a ranch in Montana and learn to ride a horse. When I wrote the book about a woman who loses her husband in a tragic car accident, I listened to Evanescence's "My Immortal" and Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" on repeat for hours upon hours as I cried my eyes out.
That's what makes me love writing. It's an escape. An outlet. And the keeper of my sanity. My only hope is that as I explore the realm of agents and publishers, someone will recognize my potential. Someone will want to take a chance on me. In the meantime, I'll just keep writing, and hope for the best.